Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
