vagina is talking i cant
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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