been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
