You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
