i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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