chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
