sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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