Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
