when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
