I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
