He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
