I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
