Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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