I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
