: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just had sex bonerless
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
