Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
