okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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