just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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