one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
