Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
