Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
