Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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