i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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