also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
