I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
