if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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