I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
