scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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