just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
