Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
