Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
