You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
