But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
