Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
