I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
