I am puke
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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