ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
operation harelip BJ is a go
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Are we still banned from the library?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
