I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
