Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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