Me too!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
