Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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