Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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