Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
