We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
