SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
