the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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