I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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