She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
