my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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