Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
