why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
